I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
