You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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