New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
