My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
