dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
