Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
