what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
