My cat gives me a boner
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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