That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
