spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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