But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
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remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
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Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.