A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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