About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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