you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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