I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I deserve this hangover.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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