well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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