if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize