What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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