she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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