I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
