Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
where are you?
Hypothermia
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my poor anus
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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