The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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