I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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