yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
