she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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