There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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