I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
