Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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