redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
bring money and cleavage
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
