The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I could make wine with my vomit
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize