omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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