Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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