Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize