There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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