What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im drinking this country out of the recession.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
