The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start