last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize