no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
