So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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