If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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