He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
