it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
