Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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