I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
