Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
