bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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