I want to stick my p in your. b.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
