I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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