we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
