She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
