the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
