Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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(510): View more from California

Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.

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(214): View more from Texas

Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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(810): View more from Michigan

Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable

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(907): View more from Alaska

I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.

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