We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
