in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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