Someone shit on the floor
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
