ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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