You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
