Those balls look pretty dangerous.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
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I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.