so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.