I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
